This is a poem I wrote to capture the AWESOME 3 days Wendy and I had in Chicago. Every line hides a story (all hilarious) and I've included some pics as well. So in 47 (!) stanzas, here's "Toiner & Stronge do Chicago" |
Are you staff? Delicious brekky in Giraffe Toiner’s passport piccie Looks like Linda LaHughs from Gimme Gimme Gimme BA staff chosen ones Have giant clip on buns Tug stuck on the plane delay But the movies work, hooray! Quizzed by US Security re. job More thoroughly than the Chicago Mob And travel movements too… Do I look dodgy to Ground Crew? Checked into our hotel finally The porter is hmmmm too smiley We tip him for rather a lot For just telling us a good taxi spot Because, you see, there’s a special thing The Festival of Lights parade is in full swing But but but there’s no time to lose Blue Man Group awaits to amuse |
Singing llamas and the GiPad Ready. Go. Crazy and rad This show is getting stranger and stranger We even feel in bemused danger! Trying to stay awake and alert So we don’t get covered in dessert Then come the giant spheres And lots and lots of cheers We find out a few days before A pipe burst on the 26th floor Loud humidifiers outside our room For the duration of our stay we presume… Time to bed down for the night Some shuteye sounds about right Toiner fights with her duvet until she’s comfy While I fall asleep rather snugly Early am walk on Navy Pier Freezing cold, it’s that time of year Brekky at Billy Goats And drying out our wet hats and our coats |
Epic fail in hindsight The weather really was shite Up in the Gods and windblown We got soaked right through to the bone | American football is fun And totally totally ran-dom Tampa fans sit amongst the home side ‘Bravado, beer and street meat’ preoccupied |
Now time to hit the deep-dish pizza scene
Gino’s East and the Tipex thing going on
Mozzarella overload is so very, very wrong
All the walking has made us knackered
We start watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
But Toiner crashes into the ‘stay awake’ hurdles
Toiner’s sandwich duvet is hilarious
‘Chicago’ in Chicago for the gregarious
Mike and Molly, my fave show, on a billboard
We like Starbucks as our morning ‘springboard’
Revolving doors
The porter scores
When we give him a tenner
Just for telling us the weather
He puts us in a cab
And we add to his tab
The taxi goes north
And so on and so forth
And the weather is really coming down
Windy with horizontal rain and sleet
There’s no way we’re heading south on the street
They understand and overrule
And we decide to try again tomorrow
No time for any upset or sorrow
Because we were really excited about
Riding the segways with clout
So… to keep the excitement going
Let’s go hit Macy’s whilst it’s snowing!
Such a magical feel
To be in Chicago, unreal!
All of our dreams coming true
And so close to Christmas too
Through the harbor lock We walk on the boat and we rock It takes us across the wavy sea Attempting photos is really gutsy Our feet once again on concrete We spot WGN radio studio up the street Toiner dares me to run past and wave And I do for a funny close shave | Sailing around Navy Pier Inside it’s a cosy atmosphere Now we’re on Lake Mich-i-gan Then we’ll be heading back to where we began |
So we try to find Oak Beach despite
Not knowing where even to begin
Finding this place in the city within
The pedestrian tunnels are flooded or closed
And then, when a man is so opposed
To letting us venture any further
We take his advice as a precursor
“Have eyes in the back of your head,
Unless you want to end up sprawled out and dead”
He says in that soft Chicago gangster drawl
We listen and decide to take his advice after all
It really is such a beautiful night
Toiner’s fur is on fire in the photies
I start singing Alicia Keys as a song tease
Onwards and upwards to 360 Chicago And across town to Willis Tower, pronto The windy Skywalk takes our breath away The Skydeck ledge I could stand on all day | A city that dazzles and shines Laid out in blocks and straight lines We even spot our Oak beach And it does look isolated to reach |
With us wrapping up all of our parts
It’s lovely and sunny out there
But well and truly chilly to be fair
And we wait for the CTS guys to “OK”
The start of our Segway fun
After the scary 5000 dollar stun
That’s the price we might have to pay
Should we lose or damage a Segway today
But Chris put us straight at ease
By being so cool and easy to please
Toiner was the buck-a-roo rodeo show
She called me the Chicago Segway Mafia to go
We stay on Turtle mode for a while
It’s probably best for our style
“1,2,3 Chicago” pic by the fountain
Riding a Segway is like climbing a mountain
Technique, determination and skill
So you don’t end up ruining the thrill
Halfway in I can’t feel my toes I make a strangled sound through my nose Toiner totally cracks up And I pretend like nothings happened “Wassup!” | We finally see a beach on 12th street This really is a fab treat But later we’re on a steep hill And Toiner does a funny kitten squeal! |
We wait to see if President Obama will grace our zone
Great meal and giant cocktails in Chillies resto
Even an American Johnny Vegas hey presto!
At BMG we were out by one row
We got drenched at Soldier Field
But on the segways the sun was revealed
Walgreens for American snacks
“Windy” politics and wise cracks
Taxis so easy to hail
Definitely no ugly shoe sale!
This has been a fabulous trip
AA definitely runs a tight ship
Extra speedy flight and food service
Joy, the hostess, didn’t have time to be nervous
About whipping our plates in mid bite
So you needed an immediate appetite
I think they were trained with Lufthansa
It was quite an efficient extravaganza
So “Bye Bye Chicago” we say
You were one heck of a hol-i-day
No amber in traffic lights or in speech
But you’re a city that has plenty within reach!
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Blogging is an amazing concept so here I am giving it a whirl. You'll get words. You'll get pics. Sometimes a vid or two. You'll get tongue in cheek, the odd humble opinion and an honest insight into my travels and writing life. Maybe even a few gems along the way. I'll be musing on home turf as I see more and more of the UK and sharing my experiences further afield on holidays and adventurous trips across the globe.
Things you need to know about me: I love music. I love books. I love laughter. I love comedy, theatre and the opera. And mixed with all of that, I LOVE to travel, write and take photos.
And, as of the 3rd April 2017, I'm on another journey, very different to my travel adventures. This is a journey of recovery. From grief, from depression and from Fibromyalgia. I will also be sharing the impacts these things have on my life now; how I don't want them to change me, but they will, and already have, and yes, it's a rollercoaster.
I hope you enjoy All Things WTP.
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