I had a lovely couple of days at my mum's last week before going back to work on Friday and over the weekend. This week in yoga, my teacher wrote me a lesson around the mantra "I have time". We also did the dead bug pose, which is one of my favourites. I would've liked to have played dead to life this week. As predicted, going back to work was tough with the early starts, commute and long days. If I'd been on holiday, I would've been bouncing talking to clients, but instead I felt even more fatigued with covid (and of course fibro) than before my break. I know I have to just get back into my rhythm again. I bought a Gratitude journal so even if I don't write in it regularly, I can read the prompts to give me something positive to focus on each day. I am trying to not look beyond the present day, so I don't become overwhelmed. I had another frustrating therapy session, then I booked a trip for myself and Mum in October (moving India and Nepal to next March) to Lisbon and Madeira. Lisbon looks such an amazing city and Madeira is supposed to be the Hawaii of Europe. It looks absolutely stunning! I also treated myself to a bolster for yoga and a weighted blanket - these items have seriously cheered me up. Yesterday, my second yoga session included the bolster and it was so nice to hug something and hang on and rest my head in this particular pose, that I started to cry. Yoga does that to me sometimes. Afterwards I met my fibro group from last year's pain management program and we sat and chatted and could have stayed there all day. The validation we give each other in this group that life is bloody tough with chronic pain and fatigue is worth so much to each of us. It did give me a boost. I finished the day with therapy and am pleased to say I'm out of my funk. I made a plan to get some help at home with the things that I find difficult - someone to wash and blow dry my hair weekly, someone to treat my fibro weekly and someone to clean my home weekly. This is all so I can continue to work full time - for the moment - and just see how things go.

And just like that, my 3 week holiday is almost over. The weather turned this past week, literally the day I got back from Devon, and that made things speed up as well.

In between watching the finales to Homeland season 8 and Line of Duty season 6 and binging The Fall all 3 seasons - which quite possibly is one of the best psychological criminal thriller series' I think I've ever watched - and starting Ozark, I've been dismantling some old beds and other bits in the two spare bedrooms, getting ready for another big clear out.

And why I don't know, but I feel incredibly stuck in therapy at the moment.

I'm also nervous about going back to work because no more lie ins and no more resting when I'm tired.