So our Qatar World Cup campaign has taken off with a win! Still a long ways to go yet...

And I'm still trying to get "with it" but this flu cold thing is really clinging on. I've had more massage and chiro to treat my achey muscles and I'm trying to feel Christmassy and get organised because this is my favourite time of year now with the rundown to Christmas. I've ordered an arty advent calendar which is really for kids, but I'm so excited for it. I feel seriously stuck at the moment and I know creativity will get me out of this funk if I can just motivate myself to get involved. The perfectionist kicks in and bolsters the procrastinator so then it's like a double whammy. But art is art, especially when it comes to art in therapy. It doesn't matter what it looks like. It doesn't matter what form it takes. What matters is that I've done something creative in the first place. Gotten lost in myself for a while because that really rests the brain.

I have used my BA credit with my old company and rebooked a nice, chill holiday in Malta with mum for next March. I'm also off to Lithuania for a familiarisation trip with my new company at the start of December. That's pretty exciting because I have no pre conceptions about the Baltics. Another couple of new countries to explore!

I always thought I would know if I'd slipped a disc in my back and I knew it was something I never wanted to happen to me. Well, it turns out, it can happen without even being aware. I went to bed one night feeling fine and I woke up the next morning in horrendous pain - and I can't tell you any more than that!

So that's what the doctors think now and I'm paying privately for chiro and massage and signed off for another two weeks. I don't know how people cope when they can't afford private treatment. I can only imagine they suck up the pain and carry on going to work thus further injuring themselves.

4-6 weeks recovery - I have been depressed about this - and the rigmarole of getting enough painkillers. I drive to and from the surgery and the pain is so intense and I'm hyperventilating and I basically almost pass out every time I have to make a trip. First that horrible bout of anxiety and now this. It's a relentless last few months of my 30s.

Mum and I also had to make a decision to cancel Dubrovnik next week. We had a cracking itinerary planned including day trips to Montenegro and Bosnia Herzegovina. We're really gutted but I wouldn't have been able to do anything.

Instead I'm trying to refocus and use this sick leave to fully relax and heal my back. I don't think I've watched this much tele in all my life!

I booked these tickets in 2019 and we finally got to see Michael Buble at Bath Royal Crescent on Friday! It was such a great venue and the weather was stunning; we got so lucky.

It was such a joy to finally see Mrs Brown's Boy D'live Show The Musical. I bought the ticket in December 2020 for June 2021, then it got rescheduled that month for a year later - and here we are. Although I miss Rory and Deano, it was great to see the rest of the cast on stage. I would've hung around to try and get some autographs afterwards, but I had to get down to Eastbourne for a wedding the next day. We stayed in an air bnb in Pevensey Bay which was delightful and right opposite the beach. Such a great location! That was my first time in an air bnb aswell. I was very impressed.

Unfortunately I was working Friday through Sunday, otherwise I would've been in London for the whole 4 days soaking up the atmosphere on the Mall where history was being made. I am so proud to be British!

The weekend before, I was in Windsor with a friend, taking a tour of the Castle. This is part of our ongoing touring of all of the Royal residences. It was wonderful to be in the Queen's hometown enjoying the sunshine and the build up to the festivities. There was a definite buzz in the air!

My favourite part of the Castle was the Waterloo Chamber room where we learned that behind all of those pictures, there are paintings and drawings from the Queen and her sister, as they used to put on plays to the rest of the family in that room. I also loved listening to the choir in St George's chapel and lighting a candle and learning that 10 kings are buried there. So much history, it's truly amazing!

Back to work today boo! I just cannot believe that this time last week, Mum and I were taking the scenic flight to see Everest. This has been a dream of mine for a very long time. The weather was perfect as you can see from the photo and it was so worth the extremely early start. It surprised me that we had to check in like a regular flight. It's all taken very seriously. I guess considering where we are and how quickly the flight could go wrong, that's a good thing. Our landing into Kathmandu was pretty rocky and that's the first time I've ever really worried about being on an aircraft - and I've been on some dodgy flights!

The rest of Nepal - Pokhara and Chitwan - was a whirlwind of enjoyment and lovely hospitality at stunning accommodations (Pavillions - The Farm and Tiger Tops), long drives on bumpy and broken roads (it's so wonderful to be travelling again!), mooching around Pokhara the much more chilled out sister to Kathmandu, temples, pagodas and boat rides, getting lost trying to find Tiger Tops, just missing a male tiger bathing, sweating on safari (again, so fab to be back travelling!) and ending our stay in Nepal with a walk with the mahouts and their elephants down to the river for them to bathe,  whilst we enjoy a perfect sundowner to celebrate 3 weeks of amazing adventures on the road. I mean, what could be better than that!

wonderful to get away from the town and noisiness and watch the tea pickers in the sunshine though.

We then had a short pitstop in Gangtok in Sikkim just because and nearly got stuck when heavy rain flooded the river and broke some of the bridges! It was lovely to be welcomed as the first British tourists they have seen for two years.

After Gangtok, we arrived in Kalimpong and met up with new found family. That was really special. We visited Dr Grahams famous school where my Nanna went 100 years ago and St Joseph's Convent where my Grandpop's sisters went. We found my Great Grandfather's estate - which called into question whether he did live in Darjeeling - and my Great Great Grandmother's grave along with her boyfriend's! The villagers who remember my Great Grandfather, were able to give us bits and pieces of information, but there is so much more to discover. It's rumoured it takes two days to ride around the estate on horseback. Unfortunately the Indian government claimed the land from my Grandpop's sister who remained in India and now use it for farming. The villagers don't hesitate to ask us why we never claimed the land and sadly because my Great Aunt has now passed, we don't have answers for them. I was gutted we ran out of time and the mist was descending rapidly. We did learn that most of the bungalows from the estate were burned to the ground in the 1986 riots when the local people wanted independence from West Bengal. This was another piece of devastating news, along with the fact that nobody seems to know where my Great Grandfather's grave is. I think I have more questions than answers from this trip!

Staying in the Mayfair Himalayan hotel which my relatives used to own and run was some consolation. I tried to soak up as much of the history as I could despite the hotel being full of conference types. I definitely would have liked to have seen it pre Mayfair ownership.

could be snakes. 47 Beniapukar Road is officially a transport police station now and we so nearly missed the house. Luckily we had the photo you see above and some of the officers pointed us in the right direction. It was a really special moment for mum, one that is hard to put into words. I guess there are no words. I was just happy to be a part of that moment.

The train was fabulous if not a little noisy with the horn blaring all of the time. The train runs right alongside normal village and town life - sometimes too close - so that horn has to be alerting people! It was a little different to the calm app Darjeeling train ride mum and I listened to the night before to get us in the mood. Again, another wonderful memory for mum to rekindle though.

Leading up to this trip, I've been convinced that until we actually land in Calcutta, I won't believe we are finally able to do this. Covid aside, it was already a mammoth trip to plan.. building in rest days, trying to get the time off work, making sure we visited the essential destinations to trace our family history and meet family we've never met before, but also to throw in some sightseeing as well. Logistics have been more complicated thanks to the pandemic and the shortage of flight options have meant more days travelling. It's been a mission, that's for sure! But here we are, finally!

Amidst the struggles trying to keep myself well without medication post my latest hospital admission and trying to advocate for myself and feeling very vulnerable and alone, I've been researching the Cresswell's in the book you see in the picture. This is my mum's father's family line and the one we are focusing on whilst on our trip. I've also been catching up with stuff I had to postpone due to hospital - dinner with friends, getting a quote to replace my porch door that was smashed to smitherines, getting my car MOTd, test driving a new SUV in preparation for being a mum (if that is ever going to happen - trying to keep the faith), pamper session with a haircut and colour, contacting a cat sitter, building a new bookcase for my bedroom, getting the back garden up to scratch, sorting out my typhoid booster which I've left to the last minute and filling out the numerous forms for our travels... you know, just a few things to keep me occupied.