Continuing with my "Being Happy" series, something that always puts a big grin on my face...

Who doesn't love a bucket list!

I've placed an X by all the things I've done - some are sad though, but, each experience whether good or bad, exciting or terrifying, shapes you as a human being and defines your life:

Gone on a blind date
Skipped school X
Watched someone die X
Watched a pet die X
Seen the Grand Canyon in person
Flown in a plane X
Served on a jury
Been lost X
Travelled to the opposite side of the country X
Been to Europe X
Swam in the Ocean X
Gone south for the winter
Gone on a cruise
Cried yourself to sleep X
Played cops and robbers X
Recently coloured with crayons/pencils X
Sung karaoke, a solo or duet in church X
Paid for a meal with coins only X
Made a prank phone call X
Laughed until some beverage came out of your nose X
Caught a snowflake on your tongue X
Had children
Lost a child
Had a pet X
Been skinny-dipping X
Been fishing
Been boating X
Been downhill skiing
Been water skiing
Been camping in a trailer/RV X
Been camping in a tent X
Driven a motorcycle
Been bungee-jumping (ripcord jumping)
Gone to a drive-in movie
Done something that could have killed you X
Done something that you will regret for the rest of your life
Rode an elephant or camel X
Eaten just cookies, chips, ice cream or cake for dinner X
Been on TV X
Stolen any traffic signs X
Been in a car accident X
Been in hospital in the past 24 months
Donated blood
Gotten a (speeding) or any type of ticket in the past 12 months
Gotten a piercing X
Driven a four door vehicle X
Been married
Been divorced
Fell in love X
Fell out of love X
Paid for a strangers meal X
Driven over 100 mph X
Written a published book/story (poem) X
Eaten snails
Been scuba diving
Gotten a tattoo

How about you?

I'm so keen to get to certain points in my life that over the last few years I've sacrificed the journey. Rubin talks about Tal Ben-Shahar's  "arrival fallacy" from his book "Happier". This is the belief that when you arrive at your destination - buy the new house, have the baby, marry - you'll be instantly happy and everything will fall into place. However, rarely is this the case because all of those things bring additional stresses, worries, plans and concerns. Rubin says, "The challenge, therefore, is to take pleasure in the 'atmosphere of growth', in the gradual progress made toward a goal, in the present."

From personal experience, I really understood this recently having secured a job in the travel industry after taking a four-year break. I've had two months since knowing I got the job to revel in the satisfaction and look forward to the challenges ahead, whilst wrapping up some of my most pressing projects before I start commuting. Prior to that, whilst I was working hard to find a job, I still made sure (for the majority of the time) to enjoy those free days for personal pursuits, which I might not have much time for in the future. I also made sure to learn from every failed interview and I was able to get a long overdue look inside some of the industries biggest and most respected companies.

Believe. Play. Smile. These are the themes of my Being Happy series.

I've learned over the years that even the best, well laid plans rarely go to plan. And the harder I want something to work out, the less likely that it does, according to how I've pictured it should. So I've learned to be adaptable and to go with the flow more. However, I'm still learning to enjoy this process, especially when I'm on the home straight and hurdle after hurdle keeps cropping up - and I wonder will I ever get there.

On the flip side of this, when I've been on the "hedonic treadmill" in the past (taken from The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin), I've found my adaptability performs at its peak because I've no time to dwell on the positives or negatives. The new change to my circumstances becomes the norm. Rubin suggests that although this may help us to cope if / when our situation worsens, it means when circumstances improve, we quickly "become hardened to new comforts or privileges." We take the comforts for granted and the privileges no longer appear like an achievement. As with everything, adaptability in our lives is a balancing act. She then goes on to talk about an "atmosphere of growth", which I'm going to discuss in my next post.

Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time. ~ Thomas Merton

I would include any creative activity you enjoy in that statement. It's wonderful to get lost in my creative projects and my writing, the movies or the theatre... Come to think of it, any pursuit I feel passionate about. The problem is, I have a lot to choose from - comedy, opera, sitcoms, travelling, music, walking, reading, swimming, taking photos, making scrapbooks... which might be the reason for the anxiety I sometimes feel. I have too much going on! 

Sharing Rubin's insights on this particular topic from her book The Happiness Project, she suggests scaling it right back, singling out one thing and pursuing it as a priority:

"But whatever your passion might be, happiness research predicts that making time for a passion and treating it as a real priority instead of an 'extra' to be fitted in at a free moment (which many people practically never have) will bring a tremendous happiness boost."

Do you agree with these?
Would you change any of them?

I'm guilty of thinking (and convincing myself) that if I just get to this magical point in my life, or if I just buy this "thing", it will make me instantly happy and all of my problems will be solved. However, there is more fulfillment in creating happiness on a daily basis, but how can you do this?

Another article caught my attention "10 Ways to Change Your Life in 10 Minutes or Less".

I'm a big fan of learning new stuff and developing myself as a person. I agree with this sentiment: "Learning makes us confident, feeds our creative soul and broadens our perspective."

Sitting back and taking stock is really important. I love going out walking so I have that time to myself to enjoy nature, plan and think about things.

"Virginia Satir, a family therapist, contends, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.” " Hugging makes me feel a warmer person, more approachable and loving, and I feel good about doing it. The same goes for complimenting others. It takes nothing to compliment someone, but the positive energy those words stimulate is incredible.

Two things I'm always working on - decluttering and sticking to my yoga routine. When I'm doing these things, I feel really good. It's just making the time to do them...