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I want to do the exact opposite of walking slowly. I want to hurtle head long into a brand new year and accomplish all of the things that I need to around my home and I want to become a mum. BUT. I also want to feel less mentally and physically exhausted and more at peace with myself and my surroundings.
Walk Slowly It only takes a reminder to breathe, a moment to be still, and just like that, something in me settles, softens, makes space for imperfection. The harsh voice of judgment drops to a whisper and I remember again that life isn’t a relay race; that we will all cross the finish line; that waking up to life is what we were born for. As many times as I forget, catch myself charging forward without even knowing where I’m going, that many times I can make the choice to stop, to breathe, and be, and walk slowly into the mystery. -Danna Faulds
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 This was my 39th birthday treat to myself - a front row seat to see Ricky Gervais at the London Palladium, performing his 6th live stand up show SuperNature. I wanted to make up for spending my 38th stuck on a psych ward!
The show was incredible. Gervais takes his comedy to the wire and then races way beyond. I don't know how anyone can take him seriously. Everything he says is tongue-in-cheek and it's clear he's nothing like his comedy in real life. Just watch the genius that is Derek and After Life - both raw, human observation that gets you right in the heart. Makes you laugh and cry simultaneously. He's brilliant and as I've often commented on here, I don't know why I avoided him for so long. I can't get enough of him. And no, I don't agree with some of his beliefs, but it doesn't matter. There's space enough for everyone.  So being a self proclaimed Royalist, I watched the funeral of His Royal Highness, the Duke of Edinburgh on Saturday. Sadly, I feel the sense of loyalty and duty to the Royal Family is lost on mine and younger generations. I am so proud to be British and it isn't lost on me the magnitude of what we are saying goodbye to here. The Duke was a living part of our collective history and he had been at the epicentre of British power since the 1940s. I am so jealous of all of his travels, I am awed at the legacy he is leaving behind and I am left in wonderment at his self less devotion in serving the Queen, his wife for all of these years, two steps behind.
Learning about the man beyond the well publicised gaffs this past week has left me with only positives to include in my own life: travel, be curious, ask questions, laugh, enjoy the good times, be patient during the bad times, this too shall pass, say what you mean to say, don't back down on your beliefs and values for anyone. Losing someone we love and the resulting grief will hit us all at some point in life. It's no different for our Royal family and our Queen. When your partner, husband, wife dies, this is said to be one of the most intense emotional experiences of your lifetime. I can attest to this. I'm starting 3 days of furlough today. What weird times we are living in. I should be gearing up for a busy January booking amazing holidays for people, but instead I'm working from home again with the office closing to the public for who knows how long. And we are 2 days away from Brexit finally being actioned. What a year it's been! Despite all of this, it's been a lovely Christmas seeing family and friends whilst the restrictions briefly lifted. I did spend my first ever Christmas day alone and it was surprisingly lovely and I actually felt quite content. I cooked dinner for myself and ordered in my favourite champagne. I got to lie in and wake up to my own pace with the kitties and the only thing I forgot was the stuffing, so I had yorkies instead! Our first session of family therapy went ok last week. It was with my older sister and mum to begin with. I wanted us to address the issues raised by my latest hospitalisation and how both parties were feeling and had felt during that time. As you know, I found going into hospital and the events leading up to it incredibly traumatic in themselves. Here are a few of my main points I journalled in preparation, which you may be able to relate to:  The day after I saw my counsellor and I read her one of my all time favourite stories and the one and only Christmas story in my humble opinion "A Night Before Christmas". I also told her I appreciate and hugely respect her authenticity. I like the fact she's not on social media for example.
I've been watching so many fab shows on the box, a lot being about my heroes or being favourite programs of mine or celebrating a significant anniversary - Billy Connolly's goodbye to stand up, Sheridan Smith's Becoming Mum where she openly talks about her struggles with her mental health, 25 years of Common People by Pulp, Cliff Richard's King of Christmas, Victoria Wood's Secret Files and live stand up show from 1997, Bobby Ball's last appearance in Not Going Out before he passed, new comedy Pandemonium, Ricky Gervais stand up shows Animals and Politics, Mandy, Mrs Brown's Boys (of course!), the history of the Queen's speech, Have I got 30 years for you, Birds of a Feather, Motherland, King Gary, The story behind The Good Life, 25 years of Bridget Jones and Nigella doing her wonderful Christmas cooking, still going strong at 60.
but weren't - lots of adventure such as Wind in the Willows, Treasure Island and Robinson Crusoe, some of the Classics such as Wuthering Heights and Sense and Sensibility, and books that I remember reading as a teenager and being deeply moved such as Judy Blume's Forever and Robert Swindells's Daz4Zoe. Now I just need a lovely bookcase to put them all in!
Well it hasn't been much of a flamin' June, more like one flamin' day of June.. and with less time spent on my new country commute to Reading, it would be great to have some sultry, summer evenings to enjoy, whilst I'm not tearing it up and down to London for five days of the week.
I do love the month of June though, despite the weather this year. Before the longest day, when the nights draw out to 10pm, and there's a sultry hush up and down the street, William Wordsworth's "A Night in June" comes to mind: The sun has long been set, The stars are out by twos and threes, The little birds are piping yet Among the bushes and trees; There’s a cuckoo, and one or two thrushes, And a far-off wind that rushes, And a sound of water that gushes, And the cuckoo’s sovereign cry Fills all the hollow of the sky. Who would “go parading” In London, “and masquerading," On such a night of June With that beautiful soft half-moon, And all these innocent blisses? On such a night as this is! From perfected, consistently brilliant talent to... you blow my mind fresh, new talent...  And they are best friends - which makes it even better. I am a massive fan of BGT and this dance act (below) blew me away. Ingeniously put together - music and dance nostalgia!  Before we lose anymore of our National Treasures this year, I would like to dedicate this blog post to the ones that have passed. For some reason, Victoria Wood's death hit me particularly hard. She was amazing. They were all amazing. These are the icons I grew up with, who have influenced me in so many ways.   For a lover of words, this is pure genius! Spot a very young Patricia Hodge and Julie Walters ☺️   Iconic "will have you in stitches" sketch And bringing it up-to-date, sadly minus our other funny Ronnie, but still brilliant comedy      |
AuthorBlogging is an amazing concept so here I am giving it a whirl. You'll get words. You'll get pics. Sometimes a vid or two. You'll get tongue in cheek, the odd humble opinion and an honest insight into my travels and writing life. Maybe even a few gems along the way. I'll be musing on home turf as I see more and more of the UK and sharing my experiences further afield on holidays and adventurous trips across the globe. Archives
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