Complex trauma diagnosis
Another of my Great Aunts on my Mum's side died this past week. She was 91 years old. It gives me hope that I too can reach a decent old age before I die and have lots of adventures and achievements and fond memories to look back on.
It's been a strange week. I had a meeting with my psychiatrist and care co-ordinator and it was good to get some things off my chest, the biggest definitely being why were things allowed to get so bad that I ended up being sectioned. It's been written into my crisis plan now that I would prefer to be treated at home rather than hospital, which is what I was asking for repeatedly during that period before my last hospitalisation. I also received a diagnosis of complex trauma and possible high functioning ASD. I also learned that I was dissociating a lot and it wasn't psychosis. I have a lot of questions swirling around in my head, but I can't articulate them at the moment. I tried in the meeting but it was impossible. I ended up feeling pretty frustrated. From now on, I'm trying to journal and write things down when they come to me.
The next day it was the last Stabilisation group therapy. At the beginning I was daunted about doing it online but it's actually been ok. This week I was able to tell the group about yesterday and then others began to share their stories about their route to diagnosis and how complicated it can be because complex trauma also presents like - and I hate this term - Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder. If that diagnosis doesn't sound like a direct attack on the poor patient, then I don't know what does! I felt good when the session ended and just realising that I am not alone is a huge relief.
Later on in the week it was good to chat through those couple of days with my care co-ordinator and my counselor. My brain has to process every bit of information in detail before I can file it away and move forwards in my recovery. I am so grateful to have both of them to talk to because I wouldn't be able to cope with my thoughts and emotions otherwise.
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