Dissociation and confusion
I'm a day late with this week's blog - I've been in and out of dissociation possibly due to medication or taking on too much and stressing myself out or possibly fibro fatigue and fog. I couldn't really say for certainty which. Bloody frightening though. My immediate reaction is to withdraw, but I've been forcing myself to talk to my GP, care co-ordinator and counsellor to try and piece together what's been happening. I don't have any concrete answers for them.
Sandwiched between this feeling "off", I've been to my mum's to do a few more little jobs whilst she was away with a friend upt north and I even started prepping the big back bedroom, getting it ready for painting.
Today I do finally feel as if I'm making progress mentally. I worked my way through what was quickly escalating into crisis mode yesterday with my counsellor - and when I sit and think about what we achieved without medical intervention, it's massive in a good, positive way! We sat together and she helped me ride out the difficult feelings with gentle grounding, something as simple as some marmite toast and a cup of tea and just talking. I went home and slept for a few hours under my weighted blanket, then called the Safe Haven to talk with someone virtually when I woke and even attempted a guided meditation with CALM afterwards - something I've been struggling with, with so much noise in my head. It was a difficult day, but I made it.
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Blogging is an amazing concept so here I am giving it a whirl. You'll get words. You'll get pics. Sometimes a vid or two. You'll get tongue in cheek, the odd humble opinion and an honest insight into my travels and writing life. Maybe even a few gems along the way. I'll be musing on home turf as I see more and more of the UK and sharing my experiences further afield on holidays and adventurous trips across the globe.