Stuffocation

It's funny because I'm not feeling overly concerned about self isolating and being home alone during this Covid crisis, but I am getting completely overwhelmed with clearing out stuff! So much for pressing pause on life and slowing down for a while... Usually I love having a good tidy up and giving to charity sesh, but this time I'm not just dealing with my things and that's where it gets complicated - well, for me at least. I don't want to dispose / give away anything of Colin's that I might regret further down the line, which means I have this need to go through everything in great detail. Hello anxiety.

The thing I have noticed with Fibro, is that I am often wired yet tired.. I love that because it rhymes, but what I actually want to say is that I'm wired yet exhausted, completely and utterly and no amount of right and left nostril breathing, guided meditation or mindfulness is helping at the moment.

I am making progress with clearing the decks in the house and garden, but it feels like I'm a dredge and I'm forever wading through sludge. I know it's going to be amazing once I've finally sorted out all the stuff, but I'm not enjoying the stuffocation in the meantime! I also have this terrible habit of opening one box, getting distracted, and then opening another and another, until I'm surrounded and completely overwhelmed. I know to break the task down into manageable chunks, but my brain does not want to function that way. It just wants to rush to the finish line and move on to the next thing.

I do like the idea of picking up an object and seeing how it makes me feel. Does this item bring me joy? For me, this works best with my own things especially books for some strange reason. I've been using it a lot this past week.

So I will keep on with the task at hand, keep dredging, but I'm hoping to gain some perspective and Be Still and Be Calm-er over the coming week...