I've been going through a boxfile of old travel industry stuff and came across some hilarious bits and pieces to share on the blog:
First up, I was writing some copy about Malaysia and I sent an email to my colleagues entitled Go to Penang for a boob job, then relax on the beach - according to Lonely Planet! I'd found a humourous quote on the web as follows...
"In addition, the Lonely Planet's top travel list includes Malaysia among the top spots for medical adventures. The guide states, "Mix procedures with pleasures in Malaysia, another leading destination for medical travellers. Places like the beach resort town of Penang, on the country's northwestern coast, are popular for breast enhancement surgery that comes with packaged-tour. It is good that a recuperative vacation is included since doctors warn that long plane journeys after surgery can cause thrombosis." "
So there you go!
We used to write notes in a person's booking if they had a specific requirement or request. Here are some of the more funny ones. And yes, this kept us entertained for hours (and still keeps me entertained) !! 100% genuine and names changed where the joke is not affected...
Ms Rabbit is a vegetarian
For your info. Michael X and Anna X will be on their honeymoon. Pax would like triple room if possible
Mrs X does not want a double room please. Only book her in a twin cabin as she does not want to have to share a bed with her son
Miss X is allergic to wheat bran and will bring Ryvita etc with her. She is also phobic of meat on the bone, for example she can't manage to eat a chicken leg or a lamb chop, but can cope with a chicken breast or a sausage
Mr Smith is a vegetarian. Pax prefers to be called Beatrice
Miss Y only drinks water and hot chocolate
Suzanne likes to be called Susan
Pax Z is slightly shortsighted, however they are covered by insurance and wear contacts
Mrs A is quite a bad snorer
Miss B normally cycles on a 17 inch
Pax Martin Smith is known as Helen
Mrs C would like quite an upright bike
Pax Miss D cannot eat chives
Mr Last will be late to the hotel
Pax Miss E is tomato intolerant
Pax Smith can't swim - if it comes to it, give him his life jacket first
Family F are vegetarians but eat fish. Child 1 has a nut allergy but he can eat things with traces in. They have a pen just in case as it is not severe. Child 1 is also allergic to fish and eggs. Family F are travelling land only but on group flights from MAD-SVQ and SVQ-MAD
Pax Miss G is allergic to nuts and is a VEG
Miss H has an allergy to brazil nuts. If Miss H eats brazil nuts she will be sick and have a rash
Mrs Green is a vegetarian
Mrs I does not want to be called Penelope. Please can you call her Penny
Pax Duddy x2 booked a flight for the wrong day so are arriving on 27MAR12 at 17:30 and will make their way directly to the train station. Please make sure you look out for them
Mr J is allergic to the following foods. Beef and pork. All dairy products including milk, cheese, yoghurt. Potatoes, tomatoes, aubergines, red and green peppers. Mushrooms. Tea and coffee. Pineapple, grapes, coconut and strawberry. Red and white wine
Pax Ms Knorr is a vegetarian. Pax Ms Knorr requests hormone free meat
Dr K likes a bike with a smaller frame than her height would suggest
Ms L is vegetarian but does eat fish and occasionally has eaten meat when on holiday
Mr M has requested a small framed bike pref with a slopping top tube
Blogging is an amazing concept so here I am giving it a whirl. You'll get words. You'll get pics. Sometimes a vid or two. You'll get tongue in cheek, the odd humble opinion and an honest insight into my travels and writing life. Maybe even a few gems along the way. I'll be musing on home turf as I see more and more of the UK and sharing my experiences further afield on holidays and adventurous trips across the globe.